Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I am Skaldak!

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

I'm not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

thumb_up thumb_down +56

What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What was the sadest part about the four blacks who drove off a cliff in a cadilac? -The car sat five

thumb_up thumb_down -34

3 jews sits in a car. Who drives? Not Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

thumb_up thumb_down +99

what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the group of black men not get paid for all of their manual labor? It was the early 1800's.

thumb_up thumb_down +138

biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the therapist say to the other therapist? were both therapists.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops