What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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only downer about having sex in the dark is........................ when u look out window and guy u thought u were sleeping with waving and laugh

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops