How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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What's brown and sticky? Poo

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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