Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

George W. Bush

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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