Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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haha.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Patrick is gay

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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