A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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how do you kill jesus? with a knife

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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so a guy says to his doctor "it hurts when i touch my leg" the doctor replies "but we cut it of last week" he promptly died with an infection in his leg

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I can Nazi

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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