I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Hey

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" "Sara" "Come in, we will have a cup of coffee in the good company of each other."

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Polly went out for a cigarette. Then she was raped.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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