You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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French people

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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who eats pencils asians

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Sex. That is all.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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friend: whats in the box? me: shhhh, its your mom... im saving her for later.

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Women Voting

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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you will die someday

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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