Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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