What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Unflushed Shit...

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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:-)book

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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Tennesse

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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