Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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W.N.B.A.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny and frankly, I do not see why people think they are so funny.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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BUTTERFARTING

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Boobs are nasty!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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