What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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Junior's love life.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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8============D PEN1S

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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