How come fat people drive cars? It takes to long to ride a bike to McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue Fvck this poem I'll just go play video games.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

thumb_up thumb_down -161

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops