What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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Hi

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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derp

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Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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