Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock knock? Who's there? Orange. Orange WHO? Knock knock? WHO'S THERE?! Orange Williams. Sorry, I suffer from debilitating OCD.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person in a pool? A black person swimming.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey Caleb.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mamas so fat when she puts on a belt she has to use a bomarang to get it around her.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops