What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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penisface

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops