How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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hi

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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69

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Black people are clen.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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i hate you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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