what's the difference between a babie and a watermelon. one's fun to hit with a hammer. . . ht other ones a watermelon.

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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