- Anti Joke

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Your big dick.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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