Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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