Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Why are african american people better than caucasian people at sports like basketball? Because african american people have more high-twitch muscle fibers. Which allow them to perform Explosion type movements better than caucasian people.

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Hello world

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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"I see" said the blind man to his dead wife

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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1+1= 69

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GooglePlus.

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What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops