What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

whats worse then finding a bad antijoke on this site? finding a real joke on this site

Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

A hill billy went fishing

What do porn stars do after they retire? No clue but some idiot made a movie about it.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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