If a tree falls on a woman, and there's no one around to hear it, what was a tree doing in the kitchen?

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A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

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Why was the boy sad. Because he had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and he had been told he has three days to live. That's why.

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what did say when he created the first black Wow you are the first non-white I made

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was crossing the road it tripped on a rock. When it was getting back up, a bus went through a stop sign and ran it over. After suffering for 3 weeks in an animal hospital, the chicken died.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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When u outside and the suns out.....stand under raysean u will see a solar eclispe

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What's the difference between a male dog and a female? One is a bitch. There are numerous other differences.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I probably wouldn't.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty jumped off and committed suicide.

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You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

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what did the asian father say to his son after seeing he got a B- in math? "There's small room for improvement but overall you did a great job son."

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Why are black people so stupid an lazy? They aren't. This is a negative social stigma and if you believe it you are a racist.

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Q. What did Tarzan Say when he met Jane? A. Tarzan Being raised by apes and not learning English would have no knowledge of the language and would probably hoot and screech like his fellow ape brothers

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Why did Sally have a bad vacation? Sally was shot at by a sniper.

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What did the clown say to the other clown? I was not present at this conversation, and therefore I was not able to catch what they were saying

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? While I can never be entirely sure, I would assume that there was something on the other side which has peaked its interest.

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A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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Why couldn't Tommy pick up the bunny? Because the bunny was schizophrenic and Tommy wasn't real.

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roses are red violets are blue you should have been aborted

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what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops