Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops