Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm Helen Keller Everything's black

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Then none of us want to be right.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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XD Jackass.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Why did Jack take a prune out for the evening? A healthy snack as part of a balanced diet.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Fine, start by proving to me that you can be a reasonable human being, and I will meet you myself, I have too many of those that rely on my guidance and protection in order for me to send myself off to some suicide mission. Say, are you familiar with the Antony Stark method?

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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