Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q: What's funnier than rape? A: Many things such as murder or nuclear warfare.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops