Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

thumb_up thumb_down -43

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what is yellow and burns? -a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

thumb_up thumb_down -45

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I walked into temptation yesterday, He said hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

REHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHABREHAB

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops