balls in ya mouf

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your anti-joke

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Knock Knock Who's there A pile up A pile up who

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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There was a buffalo on a farm. The buffalo was slaughtered and then put and a package and sent to people who like the taste of slaughtered, chemical filled buffalo. In other words, people who like buffalo wings.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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