why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was tomato...

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Put it in the microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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