What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

An Amish walks into Best Buy

Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

wanna hear a joke? no

What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

Q:Which side of a chicken has more feathers? A:The outside.

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

Popsicles

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

Rick Perry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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