hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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John said: "This roller coaster makes me green." HIs mother replied: "That's because you have leprosy."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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hi hi stop! no yes no no stop no grr lol i will get you back not if i fool grrrrrrr BOOM BOOMBOTH:GRRR BOOM BOOM lol lol both:grrrr THE END BY STICK SMOKER

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are red Violets are blue whilst you reading this I just raped you

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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A devout Christian dies. Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Fags aren't allowed in Heaven.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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