"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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what is not funny? This joke.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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Hi

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Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Jesus

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What did the Spanish immigrant say? Olah.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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