A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, She gave me AIDS, and I gave 'em to you! <3 <3

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

thumb_up thumb_down +24

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: why are kittens so cute? A: because god created them that way. go fourth and enjoy kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, Knock Who is there? Yo Yo who? *the man ran away and was never seen again, because he had nowhere to stay*

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

hrih

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops