Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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