Dude, you're never going to guess how stupid my friend Philip is! Really? What did he do?? Nothing. Philip will be attending the prestigious Princeton University next year and is therefore an incredibly intelligent human-being. You're an idiot for believing me.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Jesus

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Charlie. The fact that the man is an idiot is irrelevant.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says its getting hot in here the other muffin say holy shit a talking muffin.

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What's the difference between black people and white people? Their skin color.

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Knock knock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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