Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, because horses cannot talk.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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A mother is sitting with her son at the park. A nearby man suddenly breaks into uncontrollable coughing. The mother leans over to her son and whispers, 'Smoker's cough.' The son never takes up smoking.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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