what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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Fat people.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? It didnt

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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