Q.) What did the young child of a highly idiosyncratic family do when he heard the fire-alarm going off unexpectedly in his house? A.) He started to panic since he hadn't received any portions of formal insturction in the art of, "Stop, drop and roll", prior to the moment of the lamentable catastrophe. I think that we should blame his parents/teachers immediately... *Sigh*

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why did the boy throw his clock out the window? He was furious because it was the fourth time that week that it failed to wake him up for school, and he was going to be late again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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Hey Jay, did you here the one about the 3 hookers at the bar? Jay didn't reply because he was deaf

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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