Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy? You're skinny

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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Do you know what african children do? They die of starvation.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What did the white father tell his mexicon son and his wife as he left for work bye

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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Whats black and gay? Obama

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Two Mexicans walk into a bar, The bartender says your hired.

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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