How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? It's illegal to eat the Jew.

How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? The World Trade Center wasn't ruined by clumsiness.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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