What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Why did the man jump in front of the car? He was clinically depressed, his wife left him and took the kids, he just lost his job. He thought he saw a 20 dollar bill in the street So he stopped to pick it up, not realizing a car was speeding toward him.

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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