How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? ...hey, it's kinda fun to type tootsie... ...tootsie tootsie tootsie...

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Yo momma is so fat that her cholesterol level is above 240 mg/dL and should highly consider a vegan diet if she wishes to improve.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Paper shield.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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9/11.

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Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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