Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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What is a name of a kid with down syndrome. Adam Hebeison

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Sarah Palin

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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yo momma so fat. that shes fat

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Tell you something funny.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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If Life Throws You Melons, Then You're Probably Dyslexic. -S.H.A.T Brother 2Flush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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