Q: WHY DID GOD MAKE ASIANS? A: NO FREIKEN IDEA

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

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What's the most offensive joke you've ever heard? EVENTS: The Black Plague The 2004 Indian Ocean Earthquake and Tsunami The Sandy Hook Elementary Massacre Space Shuttle Columbia The Boston Bombing The Enron Scandal The Great Depression Hurricane Katrina The Iraq War Krakatoa Mt. Vesuvius September 11 2001 The sinking of the Titanic World War I and II PEOPLE: Adolf Hitler Al Capone Attila the Hun Ariel Castro Blackbeard Caligula Charles Manson Ed Gein Elizabeth Bathory Idi Amin Ivan the Terrible Jeffery Dahmer Josef Fritzl Josef Mengele Joseph Stalin Kim Il-sung The Ku Klux Klan Nero Osama bin Laden Pol Pot Saddam Hussein Mao Zedong The Taliban Torquemada Vlad the Impaler DISEASES: AIDS Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis Bubonic Plague Cholera Chronic Diarrhea Cystic Fibrosis Dysentery Ebola Virus Gonorrhea Herpes Leprosy Mad Cow Malaria Necrotizing Fasciitis Polio Rabies Scurvy Swine Flu Smallpox MISCELLANEOUS: Alcoholism Anorexia Nervosa and eating disorders Arson Bestiality Cannibalism Capital punishment Castration Child abuse Colonoscopies Coprophilia/phagia Drug abuse/addiction Electric torture The gassing of cats and dogs that have been abandoned Genocide Human sacrifice Identity theft Losing one's favorite childhood toy Mustard gas Necrophilia Neo-Nazism One's grandmother dying Pedophilia Racism Rape Religious intolerance Stillborn babies Suicide Walking on broken glass Working on weekends

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Q: You know what you should add to your recipe? A: No, not really. Tell me. Q: What? Are you expecting an answer now? Why don't you just shoot me, huh?! Pee on my clothes and set them on fire! You racist son of an **orange**.... It certainly tastes better with oranges.

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Statistically 9/11 Americans wont get this joke. But 7/7 British will.

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Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

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A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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What happens when you step on Jupiter? You cannot.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This is a poem The End

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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