What's poor and lives in Newry city council dump? Smelly mcD

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How do you cripple a fireman? You push him down the stairs.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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Canadians

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Congress back then: No sooner had I ended this prayer than a pederast farted on my right. "Hah! a good omen," said I, and prostrated myself; then I burst open the door by a vigorous push with my arse, and, opening my mouth to the utmost, shouted, "Senators, I wanted you to be the first to hear the good news; since the war broke out, I have never seen anchovies at a lower price!"

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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