Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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What do old people really like? Anal sex.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? -- Because she had no arms Why did sally drop her ice cream? -- Because she got ran over by the ice cream truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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