Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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What do you get when you cross and unicorn with a loaf of bread? Cantaloupe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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