- Anti Joke

A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

Wanna Hear a joke.... Corey Jacobs is a FAT ASS

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

tobi packs fudge+parkers gay-sami

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

If an ear could talk what would it say? Probably nothing because it doesn't have a tongue...

What's 6 + 9? 15.

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

whats the dif...mexicans are gay

What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

Black...

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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