Why did the man fall of the building? Someone shot both of his kneecaps.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

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I hate long jokes -_-

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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Remember when they called online casino`s betting sport? Anti Joke potential detected. I used to play soccer and box back then, but I guess I was still not "sporty" enough for betting sports... And as thus I afforded my lawyer education. Moral: Now that you know my education, do you really think id ever type real morals here? Mwahahahaha!

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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why did the chicken cross the road ask jake darby

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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I'm a boy... I like hamburgers... Xbox is my favorite activity.... I have a dog... My dad is cheap... He's my doctor, my dentist, and my mom... Haha get it?

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Where did Sally go when she exploded? Everywhere!

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Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see the CN tower. He was then hit by a fridge dropped by people running tests on the top floor.

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whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts. whats worse than 2 holocausts? i rotten banana. whats worse than a rotten banana? 2 rotten bananas.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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