what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

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Two men and a woman walk into a bar. They are all viciously murdered by a serial killer, who as he walks out, runs into a pole and suffers from a concussion, which he later dies from.

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

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Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had cancer and died.

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Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

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What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's worse than getting a jigsaw puzzle for your birthday? Slavery

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What did the boy get for creating a fantastic AntiJoke? Leukemia

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

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What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin get in the car.

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What never seems to get old? AIDS.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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What did the cow get for Christmas? A tree

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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A man walks into a pole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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