what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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-What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew -The pizza doesn't experience many years of hardship and social belittlement at the hands of a dictator in need of a scapegoat to support radical ideas.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Alex Eggbert

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You know what's funny? Lot's of things.

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Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Q: Where does charlie sheen shop? A: Winners

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why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

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What is the best thing about dating a slut? You can return her at Build-a-Hoe Workshop.

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

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Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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There once was a man from Peru, who dreamed he swallowed his shoe. But it turns out his dream was real, and he died because he could not digest a whole shoe.

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Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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knock, knock come in

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Chuck Norris is an average human being!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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