A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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Why did the rabbit fall out of the tree? because it was dead Why did the bird fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the rabbit

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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